‘Homesick for a place that no longer exists…’: Celina Jaitly shares emotional Holi reflection

Actor Celina Jaitly shared an emotional reflection on social media a day after Holi, revealing why the festival that once brought colour and joy now feels painfully different. While many in the film industry celebrated the festival with lively gatherings and family festivities, Celina spent the day looking back at memories. The actor spoke candidly about how much her life has changed since then.

In a deeply personal note, she wrote, “Homesick for a Place That No Longer Exists. Who do you become when you have lived outside your country as long as you lived in your parents’ home growing up?”

Reflecting on life spent between countries and cultures, she described the lingering sense of displacement that followed years abroad. “You leave family, friends, work, & culture behind, slowly embracing the positives of a new land. Yet, after a while, you feel a loss. You realize you integrated all you could, but that essence… it’s difficult to integrate in a land where you were not born,” she wrote.

Celina, who has lived in Austria for several years, spoke about how home once meant being surrounded by loved ones. “Home was only where my mother’s warmth, & my father & brother’s strong love surrounded me. With them gone, strangers abroad, strangers back home, where do I find that home?” she added.

The actor also reflected on the loss of her parents and the emotional weight it carries. “Sometimes we don’t want to heal, because the pain is the last link we have to what we’ve lost,” she wrote, adding that she often feels unsure about where she truly belongs.

She also shared that celebrating Indian festivals abroad had often been a quiet affair. “In my marriage, Indian festivals were usually very quiet, and no real effort was made to understand how much they meant to me. So it often fell upon me to introduce the boys to our festivals, our culture & our traditions in my own small ways.”